정 [jeong/情]

February 25, 2020

Entering Note :

We are all familiar with the emotions of affection, love, compassion, empathy, and care. They exist all over the world in different forms. But there is a special kind of emotion that resides only in a Korean word form. It is untranslatable and even native Korean speakers find it hard to explain this complicated concept. The word Jeong has roots in another word, gam jeong, which means ‘emotion.’ According to Nextshark, jeong is a “broad concept of positive emotions that permeate virtually all aspects of Korean life.” One study, written by Christopher K. Chung, M.D. and Samson Cho, M.D. of the Harbor-UCLA Medical Center, quotes a Korean-English dictionary to define jeong as “feeling, love, sentiment, passion, human nature, sympathy, heart,” then summarizes that, “although it is complicated to introduce a clear definition of jeong, it seems to include all of the above as well as more basic feelings, such as attachment, bond, affection, or even bondage.” There are two different kinds of jeongs. There is go-un-jeong that derives purely from positive feelings shared between people, plant or objects, and there is mi-un jeong that derives from repetitive or routinely encountered negative experiences. To understand why and how, among many other cultures and languages, this word became a distinctly Korean concept, we must look into the history and cultures of Korean society.

Origin and History

Before Korea became a country of its own, Korea was colonized by Japan from 1910 to 1945.

To understand why and how this concept of jeong came about in Korean culture more deeply than any other culture, I would like to invite you to look at the history of Korea. Before Korea became a country of its own, it was colonized by Japan from 1910 to 1945. For the first ten years of Japanese rule, Korea was controlled as a colony by Japan’s military. “In order to establish control over its new protectorate, the Empire of Japan waged an all-out war on Korean culture.” (Erin Blakemore, “How Japan Took Control of Korea,” History. August 29, 2018, accessed February 2018)

They banned speaking and reading the Korean language, and they emphasized manual labor and full loyalty to the Japanese Emperor. It also became a crime to teach history from non-approved texts, and Japanese authorities burned over 200,000 Korean historical documents, essentially wiping out the historical memory of Korea.”(Erin Blakemore, “How Japan Took Control of Korea,” History. August 29, 2018, accessed February 28, 2018) In 1939, the government forced Koreans to change their names to Japanese names. 725,000 Korean workers were forced to work in Japan or other colonies of Japan. Untold numbers of young Korean girls were forced to live as ‘comfort women’ — sexual slaves who served in military brothels.

The continuous resistance against these Japanese dictates and protests for Korean independence. Many who participated were tortured in all sorts of brutal ways — electrocution, water torture and many others. Victims included young students and children (the youngest known victim was age 14). Families and friends were separated and killed but the most painful part that still embeds in every Korean heart is the pain of having had our own country abducted. A few years after Korean independence in 1945, Koreans were faced with more suffering, brought one by the Korean War, which began in in 1950. “After World War II, it fell to the Americans and the Soviets to decide what should be done with their enemy’s imperial possessions.” During this war some 5 million soldiers and civilians were killed. Though the Korean War finally came to an end in July 1953, but it never came to an end. The war was rather been put to a hold, with the creation of the ‘Military Demarcation Line’ that acts as an armistice line dividing the Korean Peninsula. My opinion on U.S and Soviet Union involvement in the division of Koreas is still ambivalent. Despite my personal, deep appreciation and compassion for U.S support (because I believe the current development of South Korea was only possible due to America’s contribution in all aspects of social, political, economical realms), it is hard to not to put myself in the shoes of Korean civilians who were living proof of the abduction of their country that happened right before their eyes. It is an esoteric kind of pain that is hard to imagine if you have never experienced it. Understanding this history is crucial because it implies conditions that necessitate having to comfort each other, care for each other, help each other, and think of one another as one blood, one origin, as family. This deep-seated history left an unclosed wound in the hearts and minds of Koreans, creating a tendency to stick together. This Han (another untranslatable Korean word that describes deep seated sorrow or loss) aroused by history is what makes Korean people more sensitive to jeong and sharing it with people. Although it was an act of survival for the people who lived through Japanese colonization, the idea of jeong continues to resonate in other, various forms today.

Go-un-jeong : Case I. Local Market

One of the places that jeong can be found most commonly is local markets. Local markets in Korea are filled with men and woman selling a wide variety of food, from general cooking ingredients to street foods. Vendors wave their donuts or crackers at you, imploring you to try. The temptation of these delicacies makes you automatically want to stop into their shop to try. Then, they approach you with friendly discussions or questions.

Once you start talking to them, you often find yourself taking them — a complete stranger — on your life’s journey! Sometimes, they give you warm advice as if they were a family member. You feel yourself soaked into the atmosphere of this strange place. When you are lost at the market, your immediate reaction is to ask one of the vendors who are most familiar with the place. But eventually, you find yourself following a random passerby, who will stop to help you find your way. It may be hard to believe, but these acts, which may seem unnecessary and time-consuming, are performed out of genuine kindness.

Go-un-jeong : Case II. Clique Culture

People of the same ethnicity tending to clique together is partly because of jeong more easily shared by them. In these conditions, the force of jeong takes power even more strongly because these cliques are often created based on affinities that the clique’s members share together. I walk into a deli on 6th Avenue in New York, to buy myself some dinner. It so happens that this deli has a Korean owner. I grab some pork belly, and a bowl of bean paste soup and take them to the counter to pay. The owner, seeing my selections, asks me if I’m from Korea. I tell him I am. He then says he will give me some rice and a drink to take for free. I tell him thank you and grab some rice from the food bar, and he replies that I remind him of his daughter, who came to New York as a student from Korea. I promise him to stop by for food more often. This brief encounter is caused by the jeong that I share with the owner. In his perspective, I remind him of his daughter. He imagines a Korean student, much like his daughter, struggling to live through and adjust to the stranger’s land on their own.

Mi-un-jeong : Case I. Pressure and Arguments

At work, your relationship with your boss or colleagues is very likely to be based upon jeong. Usually, that relationship is complex. You want to befriend your boss and co-workers, but just enough to be comfortable, without crossing a line that is considered too personal. You don’t want to be enemies with them, either, though often times, you find yourself arguing with them. When I was working at an advertising agency, my supervisor and I got into frequent, serious and fiery arguments over how certain work needed to be done. She had been working at the agency for 20 years, so she had firmly built for herself ways that seemed to best suit her clients. I was more of a challenger, providing different approaches to projects that were never before done. We disagreed and argued regularly. I never believed I could hate someone that sincerely and deeply. I hated even being in the same room, breathing the same air with her. I definitely never thought I would be writing about her either.

When I finally marched up and threw a resignation notice on her desk, an awkward cold air between us prevailed.

But when my last day of work approached, she surprised me with a Lego man of Harley Quinn, the character in the movie ‘Suicide Squad’ and better know as Joker’s girlfriend, telling me that I resemble the character. At my farewell party, we both agreed that we ultimately had the same end goal of providing clients with the best solutions for their needs. Even though we had different opinions and completely opposite personalities, there was nothing like having a colleague that bugged you so much. Realizing that, what used to be a big component of my life for the We became sentimental about the 4 years that were now drawing to a close. We said our goodbyes, telling each other that we wouldn’t miss those quarrels. But we also wished each other a bright future, and the interesting thing is that I truly meant it. I earnestly hoped for her continued success at the company as a senior worker. I still have mixed feelings towards her now. The Jeong that was shared between us did not exactly derive from positive emotions. There was more hate than love. There was definitely anger and frustration. But it was mi-un-jeong, which bloomed out of those repetitive moments and permeated deeply alongside those negative feelings.

Mi-un-jeong : Case II. Rivalry

One of the most famous American TV series of the 90s, called Gilmore Girls, portrays a perfect moment of mi-un-jeong, experienced by the show’s protagonist in a scene immediately following her high school graduation. Rory Gilmore and her all-time rival, Paris Gellar, got on each other’s nerves throughout high school. Both aiming to enter Harvard, Paris practiced her high school activities and studies in a rather authoritarian and dictatorial way. On the other hand, Rory was a precious, soft-hearted and lovable character, and their personalities clashed. Rory never understood Paris’s tactic of scaring off other, already nervous competitors before a big school debate, for example, to the point that Paris makes them vomit. — Paris always seems to push her way into Rory’s territory, in an effort to impress Harvard. During Paris’s visit to Rory’s small town, Stars Hollow, she goes around interrogating all the townspeople, for any reportable news for the school paper. Paris accuses people of stealing, being involved in a fight, or dark conspiracy. This leaves Rory owing big apologies and excuses for the town. But at the graduation scene, as Rory and Paris say farewell, they wish each other good luck. Their conversation in this scene marks a perfect moment of mi-un-jeong. Rory says to Paris, “You know, i..it’s weird.” She gazes down as if she never thought she’d ever be feeling this way about Paris. “Most of the time, I really hated you.”

Paris smiles back sweetly and replies, “Yeah, I really hated you, too,” before they share a last, big hug. Mi-un-jeong is this weirdness, a sort of a connection, an intimacy only you and the other person can understand that builds its way from what may have been hatred, jealousy, arguments, or fights into a mutual admiration, or at least respect.

Mi-un-jeong & Go-un-jeong: Marriage

How marriages work throughout lifetimes depend heavily on jeong because it is a journey filled with mi-un-jeong and go-un-jeong that two people take. They share everything from wedding planning and apartment searching, personal hurdles such as poverty, business failure, or a friend’s betrayal, to happiness, like having a child together, decorating an apartment, building a space of their own, and congratulating each other’s success at work.

The idea and system of marriage creates situations where people are most prone to developing both types of jeong. It is not so strange that in Korea, there is a saying that, “A husband and wife decides to get married because they are in love but jeong is what keeps them in their marriage even after 30–40 years.” By then, they would have gone through too much together to be with anyone else. Some people find it morally incorrect to be married to someone just simply because of jeong, but I believe that sort of perspective originates when they view jeong as a separate emotion unrelated to love or affection. On the contrary, jeong is a kind of love that falls under a much larger category.

Finding Jeong Today

This concept of jeong has started to take a different form in today’s world; that is, in the form of ‘networking,’ though I prefer to call this ‘relationship-building’ or ‘connection’.

It refers to all the connections you make with people through mingling and bonding, based on certain affinities such as, ‘same school’, ‘same age’, ‘same work’, ‘knowing the same people’ and etcetera. Koreans consider networking ’ important because they are not only building ‘jeong’ but also creating relationships that could support or help each other in the future. Having affinities creates a special bond between people.

It is no surprise that, in Korea, the first thing people ask when you meet them for the first time is ‘How old are you?’ Or ‘what school did you go to?’ Then the conversation most likely ends with, “what a small world!”, “Such a small world.” Eventually your new acquaintance is giving and receiving advice, comments, help or support. Leaving it there as it is, is also fine too. Some might say that this is too calculated, capitalist and far from being humane, but it depends on how you place yourself in the situation. If you perceive ‘networking’ as genuine gestures, you are able to see that it is simply one of the social connections that have evolved from jeong.

Concluding Note :

Years passed since the Korean independence and Jeong may not be as commonly palpable as it used to be but the reason for such a concept exists so vividly in one culture must be due to historical moments from that culture that keeps its importance alive — the power of it.

‘Jeong’ is an emotion that means something more than love. It is an embrace of human nature, accepting and taking people in as part of us — even the flaws and faults. Jeong nurtures respect and care even after experiencing the lowest condition of life. It is a powerful and most humane bond that enables us as a society to hold together and move forward, just as its collective feeling among Koreans helped them achieve independence over half a century ago. I hope that it will continue to hold Korean society together.

Reference

1. KnowingKorea, “The Uniquely Korean Concept of Jeong (정/情),” Knowing Korea, accessed February 23, 2020, https://www.knowingkorea.org/contents/view/204/The-uniquely-Korean-concept-of-Jeong)
2. Carl Samson, “Korea Has a Unique Kind of Love That Is Extremely Difficult to Explain to Foreigners,” NextShark, March 28, 2018, https://nextshark.com/jeong-korea-unique-kind-love-extremely-difficult-explain-foreigners/)
3. Chung, Christopher K., and Samson Cho. “Significance of ‘Jeong’ in Korean Culture and Psychotherapy,” n.d.
4. Sherman-Palladino, Amy. Netflix, October 1, 2017. https://www.netflix.com/watch/80014053?trackId=14170287&tctx=0,0,8c73d7e2-d4ca-4ee3-8ff4-9442681e5abf-128912237,c3c88448-e956-4bf3-a965-684427ea11e5_76416936X3XX1582422030731,c3c88448-e956-4bf3-a965-684427ea11e5_ROOT.
5. Blakemore, Erin. “How Japan Took Control of Korea.” History.com. A&E Television Networks, February 28, 2018. https://www.history.com/news/japan-colonization-korea.
6. History.com Editors. “Korean War.” History.com. A&E Television Networks, November 9, 2009. https://www.history.com/topics/korea/korean-war.